Ghosts in The Attic

I answered one of those daily prompts about something that I needed to do but hadn’t. I railed and whined about how my health was in a bit of a bad spot and that the great American way of have health insurance or go fuck yourself, was not working well for me. I knew I needed to see a dr and get my labs based on my recent autoimmune diagnosis.

I have been concerned about the massive amount of shedding I’m dealing with because the thought of losing my lovely hair sends me spiraling. My brain is absolutely out to pasture frolicking in the flowers while what’s left of my strategic side is desperately trying to get it to snap out of it and come back to reality.

For example, I have had a 1500 word paper due last night that for weeks now I have known about, I had chosen my topic and kind of looked at some sources. Yesterday rolls around and I have not put one single word to paper to start it, just a bunch of sources. The sad thing is I chose a topic I WANT to learn and write about. I had the opportunity to showcase my rudimentary Arcpro skills and make unnecessarily detailed maps, and yet, I still could not bring myself to start. But we will come back to that.

It has occurred to me that maybe my thyroid was in worse shape than I thought. Not having health insurance has been a bummer to put it lightly, and coupled with my repeated avoidance of seeing doctors on a consistent basis, I have not done the things I need to do. Well, it was taken out of my hands Thursday morning as I woke up feeling “weird”. It feels like a fish flopping in your chest. Or the feeling of when you were a kid and you were about to get into big trouble.. dread. Now my brain said huh, your heart rate must be whacked out so I took some meds about it and went on my day. This did not help. After awhile I thought huh, my heart rate is low. It’s not tachycardia (something that I have a problem with periodically) and I realized it wasn’t anxiety. I was fairly calm. After checking my heart and talking to my hubby who works in the ER we determined my heart was throwing PVC’s every 1-5 beats. This feels…. Bad.

I go to the er. The intake people are joking with me and looking at my ekg chart saying ‘wow that’s fucked’ we need to fix that. All of the labs I had put off magically got done. All of the specialists I have avoided dealing with, were promptly called to let them know my heart was doing a dance that everyone was very interested in stopping.

For the most part I was in good spirits. My heart rate was shockingly low, in the 50’s with my BP high? Weird. Anyway… it was determined that A: hearts be doin that and I should take a different heart med about it, and B: it was probably my angry hashimotos addled thyroid…

Great. I have met my deductible for the month now, so I gleefully will charge as much to the state of Florida as I can while the month lasts. But this got me on a kick of taking supplements. I don’t recall feeling this bad in Europe. I certainly don’t recall my hair falling out in droves in Europe. Maybe my American diet is just so garbage that I have to overhaul everything. So I guess that’s the new thing that I will try to do.

I have started to take supplements to help my thyroid start playing nicely with the rest of my body. And even though my new med made me a bit more tired. The deadline day for my paper rolled around and I am happy to say I managed to make 2 GIS maps 5 statistics graphs, 3000 words, and a ridiculous 17 sources. I’m so pleased with my paper and it conveyed exactly what I wanted. Maybe it was my crippling ADHD procrastination mode going into overdrive. Maybe my new meds led me to be more focused, locked in, and productive than I’ve felt in months. Whatever it was I’m sure hopeful that I may be on the upswing.

Also I got yet another piercing today.. I think I’m developing a habit..