Ghosts in The Attic

I’m old I guess. It doesn’t feel like I’m old but simultaneously I’m reminded of it when I think of something that I thought wasn’t that long ago and realize it’s been 20+ years.

I’m nostalgic for a time before Facebook and instagram, Tik Tok, Snapchat, and Twitter. I feel that our ideas have become too self important and the urge to shout them at others and belittle those who disagree, too great.

It’s easy to say what’s wrong with society and skip over all of the things that are right and good. We and all of the generations before us have lamented how current society is a scourge, the youth corrupted, and the future hopeless. Whether that was in 2000 BC or AD those criticisms have been tossed about. I can’t help but feel that now is a bit different.

When I was a kid to bully someone or say something mean about them you’d need to say it to their face or say it to people who knew them for it to matter. Nobody could make a deepfake of you to get you fired, shill out your nudes as revenge porn, or have a stranger doxx you in the hopes of getting you raided or killed. It seems now that the ability to harm someone with words or actions is closer than ever, and from the comfort of your own home.

The internet was more untamed when I was a kid and it was new, but it wasn’t in your pocket. You REALLY had to search for it to go get it and many people didn’t have a computer at home. We just weren’t tied to this device that’s meant to bring joy, but that’s just the facade we see that’s covering up addiction, depression, and isolation.

When I was younger, kids played in my neighborhood, no one called the cops on us for being outside. We ran through neighbors yards, we rode our bikes all over. We were outside an we were connected to each other and you had to physically be there to be involved. I think back to that time, when you missed out if you weren’t with the group. Being at home felt like a punishment. We all wanted to be out and about. I look at my daughter and see a generation that is at home, chronically online, with no where to go and nothing outside to do. I am not sure if a group of children would know what to do with a skateboard or a fishing pole. I don’t say that as a knock on this generation, I am raising one. But Covid and the idea of staying indoors for safety really did a number on them. They want their communication to be online and impersonal. They want to rage at people from a distance. They have learned from us so well how to interact online but not actually with other people in the real world.

It makes me feel extremely guilty. One, for allowing this to happen for my part. I too, have been isolated and alone seemingly since Covid and it has not gotten better. I feel that we are more isolated and lonely than ever before. I truly am nostalgic for a time when everything didn’t feel like a game of high stakes technology all the time. When curling up with a book or even just some colored pencils was a great way to escape and build a new world. Now it feels too boring to be doing only one thing at a time. We have lost the ability to be bored and to be satisfied with simple things.